This Month In Words Vol. 2

Tags: Bitch, Bromance, Censorship, Grassroots, Hitler, Jay Z, This month in words

 

I believe there is a huge misconception out there about that ever interesting process: THE BIRTH OF WORDS (or for the dyslexic among you; the worth of birds). Many people get the feeling that words chosen for any of the various major dictionaries on the market are arbitrary, and exclusionary. I won’t say much for the arbitrary nature of words because that could go on for days, but I will say that the determining of what is allowed into our official record of words is anything but exclusionary.

The imagery of the laymen in regards to the dictionary committees might be as follows: A group of no more than ten and no less than seven old white men, who are wearing druid-like cloaks, sit at a round table in a darkened room while smoke fills the air for absolutely no reason at all while these men ominously speak Latin and decide the fate of our language (the idea of these faceless bureaucratic leaders dictating our language in an entirely different language adds to the frustrating mystique of the situation). I believe this might be what people think up when they imagine our word czars at work. Let me tell you that this could not be further from the truth, as word culture is largely the most democratic aspect of our society.

The truth is that we have complete control over our language, because every year the dictionaries hold meetings to decide what hot words from that respective twelve month period get added to the list. And where do these words come from? All of these words come from us, the people of the United States of America, and that is why this is the greatest country in the world! (Applause break)

I’m going to hold off on the next part of my discussion on the populous being the majority shareholder of the English language (American English at least) in order to get to the festivities, but you can be sure this will be continued in This Month in Words Vol. 3 (I hope that someday selfpromotingwhore will be one word). If you read the last TMIW column then you know how it works. The categories include Word of The Month, Not Word of the Month, Over/Underused Word of the Month, Retired/Replacement word of the month, and then three new words which I release into the atmosphere like doves in a John Woo film. Enjoy!

THE WORD OF THE MONTH

Censorship (noun) – Exclusion from consciousness by the psychic center.

The reason I chose censorship as the word of the month is simple:                                        . Okay, so who saw that coming? All of you? Well, whatever, I was making a point. The internet has been ablaze with people taking their attention away from George Lucas long enough to be mad at the government. Why the government? Why so serious? Well, because the government is trying to pass SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act), and because times are tough.

SOPA is Congress’s answer to online piracy, and it is serious business. Their new law would enable them to shut down websites willy nilly at even the slightest sign of piracy, and without Due Process. Scary huh? Well, it is. They can shut down your website with little reason, and can cutoff paypal as well as various other internet systems all because you illegally posted a clip from Footloose.

I know this is a lot to take in, but breathe easy. It seems as though nobody supports this bill (other than movie studios and records labels) and that should have some impact. The reason this makes for Word of The Month material is because it helps us reflect on how good we’ve got it right now on the internet. There are several articles you can look to for better analysis on the future of the internet, and whether we will end up ruining this thing we’ve got, but for now things are looking good. It is a relative Wild West and we do have rampant freedom.

We should give serious thought to censorship though, and what it means. I don’t mean to bring economics into this (but I love doing it), but that could be a serious factor in what is seen versus what isn’t seen in the future. There is a great hubbub about a tiered internet, meaning that the internet itself will be split into packages (much like cable packages) where you can only gain access to certain World Wide Web functions with certain packages. This would lead the richest and those with the most disposable income to have the greatest access on the internet and the greatest voice/advantage/presence in yet another facet of life. See, it’s economics.

I just truly hope we can avoid this system of privileged access and retain the open system we have now, well, for the most part.

NOT THE WORD OF THE MONTH

Bitch (noun) – a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse

This relates to a more minor nugget of a news item, but in case you haven’t heard…..JAY-Z IS A FATHER! That’s right, the minority owner of the New Jersey Nets is entering the realm of parenthood. On a side note, I also hear he is a rapper.

ACTUALLY!

The side note is the main catalyst for the Not Word of The Month. You see, a news story broke recently that in light of Jay-Z having a new baby daughter he had officially sworn off from using the word bitch in his future lyrics/adventures. This was an interesting development to me. It seemed as though the most respected rapper in the world was going to steer clear of surface level misogyny that is so prevalent in the rap game, and that in some ways could have been monumental. COULD HAVE BEEN.

Jay-Z recently came out and said that the news story was a fake, and he has not promised such an outrageous promise; so misogyny lives to see another day. The truth is that I don’t care either way, and I’m not going to take up the role of your annoyed grandparent who hates naughty rap lyrics. I just like the idea of subversion, and the prospect of trying something new. The elimination of the word ‘bitch’ from rap lyrics might be interesting and challenging for the dying art (yeah, I’m pretty much convinced at this point).

The word bitch annoys me anyway. It isn’t for feminist reasons exactly, it is more of a linguistic problem. Use of the word bitch usually comes at the end of a sentence, almost as if the word itself is punctuation. It lends false exclamation/significance to a sentence that is otherwise vapid. An example would be two club patrons getting into a fight and the more violent of the two taking the advantage and screaming “Get off my turf, bitch!” as if any context or subtext of that sentence is at all meaningful. Since when is the shopping plaza nightclub your turf? Do you own the building? Who cares? Is it yours because you have a dragon on your shirt? (I swear to God this isn’t from personal experience)

OVERUSED WORD OF THE MONTH

Hitler (noun) – You know, the German dictator.

This one is a long time coming. The visceral feeling people get when they throw out a “Hitler” must be satisfying for they will not let up, but it is really without warrant or courage most of the time. The use of Hitler’s name in conversations not pertaining to Hitler are in vogue in two different ways: 1) In condemnation of a public figure 2) In jest. I am in firm belief that both versions of the Hitler adjective are in passing, no longer welcome in the vernacular, not mine at least.

One bad habit of Americans in the current cultural climate is to place more significance than need be placed on basically anything they can. This oversight leads directly into the Hitler conundrum; an exercise in hyperbole. Any time a politician over steps his bounds, which could mean he used the wrong micro-expression in this era of eggshell-walking, he is called out by the hounds. These hounds will sometimes find it applicable to compare a faux-pas to the rising of the Third Reich. It is preposterous and misguided, as well as every other negative adjective. The esteem these vultures give themselves in wake of their policing is false, and perhaps they could have felt that honestly if they had called Hitler by his own adjective…….or maybe if they didn’t act like twats.

The idea of “Hitler” as a humorous putdown is pretty bankrupt too. It is really just exhausted and without a hint of uniqueness or originality. I’m just saying, maybe it’s time we found a new historical scapegoat or at least new historical adjectives. Maybe we could refer to horny geniuses as Ben Franklins, or timid francophiles as Thomas Jeffersons, I don’t know, be creative!

UNDERUSED WORD OF THE MONTH

Grassroots (adj.) – of or involving the common people as constituting a fundamental political and economic group; a movement.

This word is underused in only one context, and that is its reason for being here. The word Grassroots is often excavated from word dirt by politicians who try to seem like real men of the people: “This is a real grassroots campaign”! This is usually accompanied by the term “folks”. But if politicians were representative of an era of Bob Dylan, they’d be the electric: no folk about it.

What exactly is grassroots about millionaires funneling money into another millionaire’s vanity project? The real underuse of the word grassroots is in regards to the Occupy movement of the past few months. I imagine many detractors would use the word infestation rather than grassroots, but it is really the only true exercise of the word in any recent American movement.

This was truly of the people and built up by the common citizen, no matter how many of its eventual participants turned out to be scumbags; there was still a real heart and soul poetic core. That core has its foundation with regular people who started it by simply acting, not donating. I would like to see this word used more in regards to such a thing.
How frustrating is it that when an actual grassroots campaign is started, nobody actually uses the word? I suppose that is why I write this column. I write it so that I can suggest rightful change, and then hear nothing but the wind whispering back to me with no answers or response from anybody (This month’s column is brought to you by existentialism!)

RETIRED WORD OF THE MONTH

Bromance (noun) – Loving affection between heterosexual males.

Goddamn I hate this word. I would really love nothing more than to have this word eliminated forever (Also, more Star Wars prequels!). Pop vernacular has never been my cup of tea anyhow; hearing the repetition of words and phrases about every twelve feet you walk is enough to drive a person insane. Bromance is one of these words and I think it really is a damaging creation.

The male heterosexual relationship is just about the most interesting kind of relationship in my opinion, and the immaturity with which it is handled is nothing more than a bummer. The way my generation handles male friendships is to infuse it with the in-joke of faux homosexuality in order to dampen the impact of what is it truly is: real love. Dudes love each other, but of course the recognition of such a thing has been taboo for ages. Men don’t love each other, and they don’t touch each other. The only time men acknowledge mutual feelings is through the subtle nod and knowing glance in a John Wayne movie (or rampant sex in an Ang Lee cowboy movie).

Bromance is another way to hold back male friendships, by poking fun at them. Using the word bromance is effectively saying “our ironic homosexuality is a subversion of sincere homosexuality; which is fucking disgusting”. How can that not be what it means? If that’s not what it means then why does the word exist at all? I am a firm believer that the best way to acknowledge something is to just let it exist. If male heterosexual relationships were validated in this country, then we would never have invented an unstoppably stupid word to describe them; we simply would just let them exist.

REPLACEMENT WORD OF THE MONTH
NONE!

 

THREE NEW WORDS

Daveabuster (noun) – an obstruction of an act or measure in Congress through the act of playing ski-ball on the house floor.

Daveabustering would be a welcome change to the long archaic act of a filibustering. Why talk for a long time when you could practice your Dance Dance Revolution moves in order to stop legislative atrocities?

“Congress delayed the passing of SOPA with a long round of a Daveabustering.”

Manaphor (adjective) – The act of being a physical manifestation of an idea or principle.

You see, some people are just representative of certain ideas without really knowing it. Your friend Becky might be a living metaphor for hard work, laziness, or foolishness. There are no needs for witticisms or proverbs anymore when you have the living proof.

“With his fedora, dragon t-shirt, and skull necklace combination, my father was a manaphor for desperation.”

Fauxtograph (noun) – a photograph which is taken with the pretense of being more candid and concrete (i.e. a filmic look) by use of modern technology.

There is nothing more postmodern than taking photographs with digital technology in order to make them look rustic and faded. Look, your instagram photos suck and are not real. And if they make an app that makes your photographs look like they were taken with a pinwheel camera, then you can say goodbye to art.

“Ricky’s use of fauxtography really captured the brownish tones and lived in feel of that particular Starbucks.”